My first baby was due in February 2004, and while we waited for her to be born, I taught myself how to knit a tiny pink baby hat. I should say, I retaught myself how to knit. One summer, my grandmother taught me to knit on her porch. The wind blowing in my hair, I still remember my tiny fingers trying to hold everything in place while making the wool move in the correct way. She was kind and patient, showing me over and over again how to knit. My grandmother was my favourite adult as I grew up. She seemed to know everything and was genuinely gentle with me, her oldest granddaughter. She birthed six children, was a nurse and was an enthusiastic helper. 

I often think of her when I knit baby hats. It's like I'm connecting to her kindness and generosity. I continued to knit after my daughter was born. Initially, it was for my children, family and friends. The hat was just a tiny gift for a sweet new baby. Then, there was a birth where the experience profoundly touched me. I didn't know what to do with myself. So I knit a hat and gave it to the family. The client cried, and so did I. We had been through something unbelievable together, and this tiny hat somehow demonstrated that we were connected tangibly. It was a turning moment in the early part of my midwifery career. I began to notice I would knit after attending births, especially when they were emotional, or I had to digest the experience. Knitting became meditative, allowing me the time to process and reflect. The hat represents this process and my gratitude for the space I inhabit as a midwife. It is such an honour to be someone's midwife. 

Initially, I would joke when I gave a hat to my client, "You're a part of The Secret Hat Club now".  They would laugh as they fit the hat on their sweet newborn's head. I'd try to explain why I was giving them a hat, but sometimes I would smile and say, "It was my absolute pleasure". I love being a midwife and would like to share these little hats with anyone who wants them. Now that my children are older and I have more time, I can knit.  The newest hats will be named after the baby that received the hat with when they were born, with their parent's permission. 

SECRET HAT CLUB

the graeme series

My dear friend Nancy recently asked me to knit a series of purple baby hats to celebrate her baby, Graeme. The series is called The Graeme Series, which you can see below, and represents the celebration of a mother's love and connection to her child through craft. Graeme's favourite colour as a child was purple. He passed away surprisingly in 2021 in his early 30s, and as his friends and family, we mourn the loss of him each day. These newborn hats are a way to weave these moments of loss into something beautiful that will live on. The knitters for the Graeme series will be Mary Ann (my mom), Linda and myself.  The knitting group has known Nancy for almost 50 years; my mom was also at Nancy's birth of Graeme. We are very excited to embark on this crafty adventure and celebration over the next year. If you wish to receive a Graeme hat, you can email me at sarahleslierm@gmail.com.

The Graeme Series hats will be named after the baby who received it with their parent's permission.